Sorry I've been neglecting my blogs...I've been battling a cold-turned nasty sinus infection for WEEKS and I feel like I am just starting to feel better after a course of antibiotics. I was not really motivated to do much besides watching Netflix and sleeping haha.
I hope you all had a chance to check out this YouTube video post about my shopping trip with my friend Diane. She was my first real "fashion consult" and I think it went pretty well for my first shot!
I think next time I will try to film a bit more, probably during the shopping process and maybe while trying things on in the dressing room to talk more about what works and what doesn't and why...I was focused on the actual shopping at hand and kind of neglected the documentation process, but Diane was happy with what we found, and I made her try on a lot of things outside her normal realm. Stepping out of her comfort zone opened up a lot of new options she never would've considered before. It was really fun for me and she seemed to absorb all of my tips like a sponge, so I could not have asked for a better guinea pig! I am hoping we can get together to do it again in the not too distant future.
I have had a few other interested parties reach out to me since then and hopefully I'll have more video content to share toward the end of June and early July! I am always looking for more volunteers so please don't hesitate to contact me if you want some guidance!
So, I want to address a few of the things that Diane and I talked about when we were considering her style and options, because I think a lot of it is pretty universal when it comes to women's fashion and making choices in what to wear.
First off, everyone has some kind of body image issue...there are very few people on earth that are truly 100% satisfied with the body they have at any given moment. We have all been there, especially looking back at photos of ourselves from a time in our life that we thought we were fat or out of shape, and now, even worse off, wishing we could be there again and swearing to ourselves we would never complain again if we could just have "that body" back again.
I think the key here is to start focusing on things that you don't dislike, things that you actually do like, and try to embrace the fact that your body is what it is right now...you can daydream all you want about what you used to have or what you could have again someday, but what about the now? living in the past or the future is just wasting all the precious time you have. You may constantly be comparing yourself to the self you used to be or the self you want to become, but in the meantime, try your best to appreciate the person you are now.
Stop trying on those "skinny" clothes in your closet that haven't fit since high school and getting depressed that they won't zip--why are you even keeping them? You're a grown woman (or man), have responsibilities, stress, maybe medical problems, slower metabolism, medications that cause weight gain, maybe you've had a kid or 5, gone through menopause, hormonal imbalances, emotional abuse, physical abuse, or maybe you just love cupcakes and hate running...
Maybe you actually DO like your body--or better than you once did, but still don't have all the confidence you thought you would...maybe you work out like a maniac, eat healthy, are a size 2 but still feel like your hips are too wide or your boobs are too small...
Whatever the reason, your body isn't what you want it to be...but it's what you have. You just need to find a way to embrace it and learn to adorn it in ways that make you feel good.
*TRY THINGS ON. This is the only way you are ever going to find things that you like and/or that flatter your figure or disguise your insecurities. This is so important. I think (especially women) we look at clothes in a store or a photograph of someone else wearing them and automatically judge them. whether you think "that's so ugly" or "that's really cute" or "I like that but it won't look good on me", etc.
My best advice to anyone looking to expand their fashion horizons is to look for things in a store that you normally would not try on...and try them! You will always surprise yourself....even if you think the color is terrible or the print isn't your style...or you're convinced that you can't wear fitted pants or billowy sleeves...just try it. Your body is also likely different than it used to be 10 years ago, so the things you thought you loved aren't making you feel good anymore...you need to try something different! You may still hate it but even if you like one out of 10 things, that's one more that you didn't have before.
this brings me to the next part...
*GET AN OUTSIDE OPINION. You already have a preconceived notion about what your body looks like, which is probably a bit dysmorphic anyway, so instead of going into a dressing room alone and feeling discouraged because your thighs look too big in those shorts, bring a friend or significant other...if you don't have anyone to go with you, take pictures and send them to friends you trust or send them to ME haha. I guarantee you they will see something you're not seeing...you hate your thighs so that's all you see, but that adorable romper flatters your waistline, makes your boobs look fantastic and your butt is amazing in it. Nobody's even looking at your thighs!
*THINK OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE. This one is hard to do. Especially if you already have a style that you know works on you...but you're tired of the same thing all the time. This was the case with Diane I think...she had tons of really great clothes in her closet but they were all very similar in shape and style. She knows she loves pencil skirts and sheath dresses...so she has like 20 of them. I put her in some jumpsuits, some flowy maxi dresses, some A-line styles...colors and patterns she never would think to wear or pair togeher...she had nothing like them in her repertoire and she ended up really loving a lot of them.
I can go on to talk about styles to look for for each "body type" but that's all a bunch of jibberish unless you're actually applying it to an individual.
To be honest, I don't even know where my own "body type" falls in the list of weirdly assigned categories...am I apple? rectangle? inverted triangle? I have no clue. I used to think I was apple shaped because my midsection was so much larger than the rest of me...but I am not that shape now...I don't really have hips or boobs but I don't think I am a rectangle exactly either.
The point is, shopping for clothing based on an assigned "body type" is not always helpful unless your particular body actually looks just like the diagram. Even then, if you hate the styles suggested for your figure, you're never going to feel confident.
The important thing to remember here, is that there are different body types and that not every style of clothing is going to look good on every figure. If you have insecurities about your wide hips, but your waist is thin or you have an impressive bust, look for clothes that accentuate the waist and cleavage...minimizing the hips comes later, because when you draw attention to the areas that you want to accentuate, it automatically places less emphasis on the other parts. You can achieve this in lots of ways- the fit of the clothing, the shape, the length, the color, the cut, patterns, textures, etc. Sometimes it's all about trial and error, especially if you don't really know what you're looking for...and yes, it can be frustrating but it takes patience...or a good stylist/consultant (hint hint) can help take some of the guess work out for you.
Honestly though, even I have no idea if something is going to look good on me when I pull it off a hanger. I usually just admire something about the piece and have a desire to find out if it's going to work for me. If it looks bad when I try it on, I let it go and find something else that looks better. If I absolutely love something and it fits but it's not the most flattering, sometimes I wear it anyway just because it makes me happy and screw anyone who wants to judge me.
I love clothes, I love helping people feel good about themselves, and this is definitely a passion of mine. I hope I can continue to hone my own fashion consulting skills and keep learning as I go, and hopefully share some of my knowledge with willing students along the way. Just remember, this is the body you have today. It may be different in 6 months, it may be different than it was last year, but stop reminiscing and daydreaming about when your body was/will be different and find a way to dress for your now that makes you feel good.
Maybe you actually DO like your body--or better than you once did, but still don't have all the confidence you thought you would...maybe you work out like a maniac, eat healthy, are a size 2 but still feel like your hips are too wide or your boobs are too small...
Whatever the reason, your body isn't what you want it to be...but it's what you have. You just need to find a way to embrace it and learn to adorn it in ways that make you feel good.
*TRY THINGS ON. This is the only way you are ever going to find things that you like and/or that flatter your figure or disguise your insecurities. This is so important. I think (especially women) we look at clothes in a store or a photograph of someone else wearing them and automatically judge them. whether you think "that's so ugly" or "that's really cute" or "I like that but it won't look good on me", etc.
My best advice to anyone looking to expand their fashion horizons is to look for things in a store that you normally would not try on...and try them! You will always surprise yourself....even if you think the color is terrible or the print isn't your style...or you're convinced that you can't wear fitted pants or billowy sleeves...just try it. Your body is also likely different than it used to be 10 years ago, so the things you thought you loved aren't making you feel good anymore...you need to try something different! You may still hate it but even if you like one out of 10 things, that's one more that you didn't have before.
this brings me to the next part...
*GET AN OUTSIDE OPINION. You already have a preconceived notion about what your body looks like, which is probably a bit dysmorphic anyway, so instead of going into a dressing room alone and feeling discouraged because your thighs look too big in those shorts, bring a friend or significant other...if you don't have anyone to go with you, take pictures and send them to friends you trust or send them to ME haha. I guarantee you they will see something you're not seeing...you hate your thighs so that's all you see, but that adorable romper flatters your waistline, makes your boobs look fantastic and your butt is amazing in it. Nobody's even looking at your thighs!
*THINK OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE. This one is hard to do. Especially if you already have a style that you know works on you...but you're tired of the same thing all the time. This was the case with Diane I think...she had tons of really great clothes in her closet but they were all very similar in shape and style. She knows she loves pencil skirts and sheath dresses...so she has like 20 of them. I put her in some jumpsuits, some flowy maxi dresses, some A-line styles...colors and patterns she never would think to wear or pair togeher...she had nothing like them in her repertoire and she ended up really loving a lot of them.
I can go on to talk about styles to look for for each "body type" but that's all a bunch of jibberish unless you're actually applying it to an individual.
To be honest, I don't even know where my own "body type" falls in the list of weirdly assigned categories...am I apple? rectangle? inverted triangle? I have no clue. I used to think I was apple shaped because my midsection was so much larger than the rest of me...but I am not that shape now...I don't really have hips or boobs but I don't think I am a rectangle exactly either.
The point is, shopping for clothing based on an assigned "body type" is not always helpful unless your particular body actually looks just like the diagram. Even then, if you hate the styles suggested for your figure, you're never going to feel confident.
The important thing to remember here, is that there are different body types and that not every style of clothing is going to look good on every figure. If you have insecurities about your wide hips, but your waist is thin or you have an impressive bust, look for clothes that accentuate the waist and cleavage...minimizing the hips comes later, because when you draw attention to the areas that you want to accentuate, it automatically places less emphasis on the other parts. You can achieve this in lots of ways- the fit of the clothing, the shape, the length, the color, the cut, patterns, textures, etc. Sometimes it's all about trial and error, especially if you don't really know what you're looking for...and yes, it can be frustrating but it takes patience...or a good stylist/consultant (hint hint) can help take some of the guess work out for you.
Honestly though, even I have no idea if something is going to look good on me when I pull it off a hanger. I usually just admire something about the piece and have a desire to find out if it's going to work for me. If it looks bad when I try it on, I let it go and find something else that looks better. If I absolutely love something and it fits but it's not the most flattering, sometimes I wear it anyway just because it makes me happy and screw anyone who wants to judge me.
I love clothes, I love helping people feel good about themselves, and this is definitely a passion of mine. I hope I can continue to hone my own fashion consulting skills and keep learning as I go, and hopefully share some of my knowledge with willing students along the way. Just remember, this is the body you have today. It may be different in 6 months, it may be different than it was last year, but stop reminiscing and daydreaming about when your body was/will be different and find a way to dress for your now that makes you feel good.
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