Hello again friends!
I am talking about my own body of course because that is the one I have the most experience with, but I know this can apply to so many people, whether you've got some extra in the middle, maybe you have large hips or a large bust, or maybe even no bust but your butt is bangin', or maybe you have no butt at all...maybe you're post massive weight loss, post-partum, or maybe you've gained weight or are just struggling with other changes your body is going through...
It's never easy when our bodies become unfamiliar to us, especially in a world where clothing comes in "standard sizes" which is actually a bunch of BS anyway since every brand seems to have their own sizing, not to mention all the components of fabrics and styles.
Lately, I try to go into clothes shopping with an open mind and a particular set of questions for myself...
1.). Obviously the first question is does it fit?--looking for the right size can be daunting especially if you have no idea what size you are or what size you should be wearing. Sometimes you have to try one thing on in several sizes...even if you think you know what size you are.
Women's clothing brands are all over the place when it comes to sizing, and let me tell you, the numbers can cause some crazy emotional rollercoasters, so try not to get too hung up on the number, and pay more attention to how it looks and feels on your body. I might be a size 8 in a stretchy knit pant or skirt, or a 12 in a tailored dress pant with no stretch...Nobody is going to see the tag when I'm wearing it. It may be time consuming, but it's so important to try things on, and if you're ordering from online or a catalog, take your measurements. Go by the sizing charts and read the reviews!
I have a pair of size 8 stretchy skinny pants that are actually loose in the waist, and a pair of dress pants I JUST was able to wear today for the first time that are size 12. (no I did NOT pay $118.00 btw- these were $6 at Savers lol).
2.) Is it a flattering shape/style for my figure? Just because it fits doesn't mean it looks good. Many of the styles that used to look best on me when I was heavier are not so flattering now...I always had an idea in my head of what I would look for when I was shopping as a plus size woman--I was sort of apple shaped and empire waist tops/dresses were very forgiving...I didn't like anything too fitted on my hips/tummy and I didn't typically like anything that was too baggy either because it just made me look bigger. I looked for long tunic style tops to drape over my stomach, and would never have worn anything even remotely cropped or even close to the waist line of my pants. My figure is a completely different shape now though.
I have to look for clothes to help create the illusion of curves where I want them to be, and camouflage some of the lumpy areas or extra skin. If I wear tops that are too long now, they make my legs look dumpy...and I never would've been caught wearing a skirt shorter than knee length before, but now (as long as I can wear some tights or nylons to hold in my skin) I think a mid-thigh skirt can be super flattering and tends to elongate my legs. It's been a lot of trial and error. Take pictures of yourself in the dressing room mirror, even send them to your BFF or significant other for an outsider's opinion...or bring them in with you.
If shapewear makes you more comfortable, then wear it!...especially when you're shopping and trying things on. Look for clothes with fabrics that are forgiving (maybe with a bit of stretch or something more structured for a more tailored look) or things that have built- in support in the areas you're most self conscious about. I love me a good high-waisted pair of pants with tummy control & butt lifting action myself...I can use all the help I can get in that area! Also a top that cinches in at the natural waistline. It creates a nice silhouette and accentuates the narrowest part of waist to give an illusion of a curvier figure.
3.) Is it worth the money? how useful will it be for me and how much will I wear it? can it be mixed/matched with other pieces? can I wear it in different seasons as layers? also, if you're actively losing weight, especially after weight loss surgery, it's pretty rapid...you may only wear a size for a matter of 3 weeks sometimes. Why spend lots of money on something you can only wear maybe one or 2 times? I love going thrift store shopping but it can be time consuming since you don't have several sizes of the same garment available to try on...you kind of just have to take lots of stuff into the dressing room and cross your fingers, but it's such a budget friendly way to replenish staples in your wardrobe when you know you won't be able to wear it more than a handful of times before it doesn't fit anymore. I also try to look at the clearance racks everywhere first, and try not to spend more than $10 on any one piece that won't work if it gets a little too big. I'll spend a tiny bit extra on a decent pair of jeans sometimes, and I've had one pair in each size since I started losing...but never spent more than $18 on one of them.
4/5.) do I actually LIKE it and does it work for my lifestyle? I know it's weird you'd have to ask yourself this, but to be honest it was very easy when I started losing weight for me to get carried away with finding so many things that fit me that I never had the option to wear before that I didn't even stop to think about the fact that I would probably never even have an opportunity or a reason to wear it...I've bought a few things that I never wore or probably never will...some things look great on me, but they just aren't really my style and I know I'd never feel comfortable wearing them, or they just don't fit in with my lifestyle...I mean I am a 40 year old wife and mother, my clubbing and bar hopping days are done. I work full time in a business-casual office setting, so somewhat modest clothing pieces that can be dressed up or down are perfect for me since I can wear it to work and on weekends. I've splurged on the occasional fancy dress for a specific occasion or "just in case" but I've been disappointed when I had to give some of them away with the tags still on because that occasion never came up before it was too big.
I also notice that when I was heavier, I was much more drawn to bold prints, super bright colors and patterns, but when I wear them now, they overpower me a lot more...I still love them but they just don't work for me as well anymore.
I've tried not to buy anything in more than one size down...I don't really believe in "jinxing" myself but I really still don't know where my body is going to level out...I am guessing I am probably close to where I will be trying to maintain, but I am still slowly losing weight and I know that just 5-8 lbs now can mean a whole clothing size, whereas when I was 300+lbs It took about 30-40 lbs before I dropped a size. I also get creative with pinning, hemming, tucking, belting and draping...
the sweater in the second picture is actually something I wore at my heaviest, it's a size 4 from Torrid (which is about a US women's size 28) but I still wear it with leggings sometimes and style with accessories to make it like a baggy off the shoulder sweater. I also loved this sweater when it fit me tighter, but it works this way too.
Now, I can't say that I am great at buying just the staples, because I will be the first to admit, I very rarely repeat the same exact outfit twice...I do, however love to find pieces that I can mix/match, layer and style in lots of different ways, so when I am shopping I keep these things in mind. It might be a sickness, but I swear I am mentally planning outfits in my head several times a day with the pieces I know are in my closet. Sometimes I even plan entire outfits around a pair of shoes I want to wear, or a new necklace I got. It's like a puzzle for me...a game...a creative outlet of mixing patterns, colors, textures, shapes, styles and accessories together to create something unique to my personality.
Clothing is a way to express yourself to the world. It's something I use to showcase my artistic nature, and sometimes it makes me feel powerful. I believe that a great outfit can make your entire day.
More often than not, thinking about my outfit is the thing that makes me excited to get up in the morning.
I understand not everyone has the same love of fashion that I do, but I do believe that anyone can benefit from wearing something that makes them feel like they look their best.
I know that it can sound superficial but I can't help feeling happy when I know I look good...and this goes for ANYONE, any shape, size, body type, etc.
I struggled as a plus size woman for my entire adult life, but I still always took pride in my style and made an effort to dress the body I had the best I could.
I definitely have a lot more options now, but I am just learning what my new style is, and it is exciting!
I'm excited for you! I'm proud of you! You're amazing!
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