second guessing style choices

Today I am feeling a bit fancy and I realized that I kind of wanted to talk about it...

Sometimes when I am deciding what I want to wear for the day I second guess certain pieces or combinations because I start to think about how I am portraying myself in the setting I am dressing for. My most regular example is getting ready for work--Obviously I work in a business casual office environment. It is relatively laid back, leaning more toward casual than business, but I have the opportunity to wear almost anything I like as long as I present myself in a professional manner. Shorts/sleeveless and open toe'd shoes as well as anything too provocative or revealing or anything too casual (jeans, ripped clothing, etc) are really the major things that are off the table for me on a daily basis.

This leaves me lots of opportunity for a wide range of outfit choices. I often tend toward being slightly"overdressed" compared to my co-workers, but I am a firm believer in dressing for the job you want V.S. the job you have.
I wear lots of skirts/dresses, cropped pants, leggings, dress pants, skinny pants, jumpsuits, etc. Sometimes I wear blazers, cardigans, shrugs and dusters, I like to wear heels but sometimes prefer flats or boots...I really don't have much in the way of fashion obstacles when I have so many options, but I do realize that I tend to second guess myself on some of my more self conscious feeling days because I do tend to dress a little nicer/fancier than most of the people I work with regularly.

Even more difficult for me these days, strangely enough, is trying to figure out what I should wear when the scene is casual...for example, if I am going to be meeting other parents in a child-centric sort of environment, like a school function or even taking my daughter to the park where other parents will be. This, actually, is so much more daunting for me than getting dressed for work because I tend toward being overdressed most of the time so when I know I am going to be in a much more casual environment I feel the need to edit myself so I don't ostracize myself from the other moms in their leggings and joggers just making sure their kids are taken care of...but this also makes me a little mad. The Mom judging. I could write a whole blog post just about that though...for now, let's just say I have figured out ways to dress casually and comfortably that also express my artistic side and that is a perfect compromise.

I believe most people are hesitant to try new things with fashion because they're afraid of the attention they will receive. This is perfectly understandable for anyone that might be a bit shy or self conscious, but I have come to the realization that no matter what you wear, there will always be people with different opinions about what you should be wearing. Some of them keep it to themselves, some don't, some are trying to be helpful and some are just rude.

This cannot be a deterrent.

I have come to terms with being the fashionista in the office. I get compliments regularly and I always feel confident in my clothing because I love how I look when I check the mirror before leaving the house every morning. I tend to choose bold colors, patterns, shapes and unexpected pairings...I like to push fashion boundaries a bit and tend to be a lot more showy than most of my coworkers...but I am an artist. This is my daily outlet, my opportunity to use a first impression to showcase part of my personality. Anyone who says they don't make snap judgments based on appearance is lying 100%...not that people can't try to overlook those judgments or try to ignore them, but it is in our nature to use our senses to judge our surroundings. It's an intrinsic part of the survival instinct inherent to all human beings.

I spent the majority of my life struggling to overcome the fact that the first thing people noticed about me was my weight. I have always loved clothes and have experimented with style and fashion for as long as I can remember, but I already had a strike against me being overweight and adding to that, trying to experiment with the bold looks that appealed to me aesthetically, put me in a position where I had to either decide to own what I was wearing or just throw on something to hide in.

Before my WLS I was probably about 50/50 on this. I would sometimes pick out clothes the night before, so excited about my outfit, then when I put it on in the morning, I would second guess myself because I felt like people would laugh at me or whisper about me behind my back, so I would grab my trusty black dress pants and a long tunic top and wear my "go-to" uniform for going unnoticed.

When you're already self conscious about what people might be saying or thinking about you behind your back, you might just change things to avoid that terrible crippling fear of rejection. I can't blame anyone for this, nor can I change anyone's personal feelings about it because it is very real and can absolutely be a deciding factor for anyone getting dressed in the morning, but I can tell you something my husband actually taught me a long time ago, which is, "it's none of your business what other people think of you." 

Straight forward, simple, and also kind of deep. But think about this one...everyone has opinions on everything. I don't give 2 shits about whether Becky at the gas station accepts Jesus is her personal savior, I don't judge you if you want to eat birthday cake for breakfast, I don't really care if your favorite color is orange or if you prefer cats over dogs or if you let your kid stay up late to watch scary movies. Live your life. do your thing...if it isn't hurting anyone else then by all means DO YOU.

Some people will over share- they don't care, they will tell you all their opinions because they are always right...but they are always just opinions.
There is no right or wrong when it comes to fashion my friends. That is the real secret. How do you think new trends get started? Someone comes up with an idea that something will look good...they take a risk and either people love it and it catches on or they don't and it doesn't.
There is what you love, what makes you feel good, and what doesn't. That is all.

Sure, some things are more appropriate for certain occasions...I mean I'm not going to wear a prom dress to do yard work, and I will always try to look extra fancy for a wedding, but these are my personal preferences. I'm sure I'd get judged if I wore cutoff jorts to my cousin's wedding and I'd be the talk of the neighbors as the crazy lady gardening in my formal wear, but these are MY choices. Unless there is a dress code to abide, then wear what you love!
The more you experiment, the more chances you have to really find your style.
I happen to have a very experimental, edgy, artistic style...it's not for everyone. Not everyone loves it or appreciates it and I am sure plenty of people are judging me with their closed minds.

I try not to listen to that little voice in my head anymore, telling me that people are going to judge me or think I am crazy or bitchy or stuck up or weird...I try my best to look in the mirror and decide for myself if I like how I look. Sometimes I change because I feel like I can find something that looks more flattering, but sometimes I don't care anymore if you can see my tummy bulge, or my saggy skin or my floppy arms...because I LOVE the bright, bold, colorful clothes I picked out and I will wear the heck out of them and be fabulous!

s